If I Should Forget You
by TMCL247
Summary: A love story because Root loves a fairytale; Root has lost her memories, how will The Team get her to remember who she is?
1. Chapter 1

Thunder and lightening turns to rain as the skies turn as black as coal. _Boom,_ a flash of light, the cries of crowds down on the streets are replaced by heavy rain, hard and billowing as it cries out in anger, scattering the crowds and washing them into buildings. It was another typical day in Scotland as the scorching hot weather of the previous day is replaced by the tropical monsoon rain of this evening. The crowds of tourists from the busy cobbled streets below are diverted as the street festival is momentarily paused.

Too busy focused on the silver chain around her neck, Sam doesn't realise she is now lying in darkness as the thick droplets of rain start to get louder, pounding on the hotel room window. Too busy wondering where the thin silver key on the end of the chain leads to, she runs her hand over it. Sighing and placing it back down on her chest, her thoughts are usurped by the gaze now catching sight of the faded scar across her heart. This scar more prominent than the one on her torso, and the third one on her shoulder.

 _"You have been in a terrible accident"_ , as Harry's words play out in her mind. But what could be so bad as to end up with so many marks in so many different places? And to be deaf in one ear, as she traces the scarring line on her right side with her finger.

She couldn't help but feel a longing and a lingering, of what she doesn't know. The restlessness and frustration soon kicks in. Finally feeling enough emptiness and confusion, Sam kicks up and swings off to the side of the bed, _'a drink'_ , as she pulls on her top left hanging on the chair by the desk in the room, and wanders out towards the elevator, remembering to at least take the room key with her.

 _Ding..._ The elevator doors opens out into the hotel roof top bar.

Listening to the soothing rain pound the skyline windows, a silhouette of the near 1,000 year old castle glimmering in the background, Sam is interrupted from her thoughts, "can I buy you another drink?"

Looking down at the now empty cocktail glass that she was nursing, the stranger had already sat down beside her at the bar, and the barman now making his way over to them. Smiling Sam indicates, "the Flying Scotsman", to the surprise on the stranger's face, "make that two", as the barman walks away to prepare the order.

The petite woman, so exotically dark, the contours of her face outlined by her strong jawline. The toned muscles running from her shoulders down through to her legs. Her tight black dress hugging her flatteringly, leaving Sam unconsciously drawn to her as she licks and then bites lightly down on her own lip.

Again Sam's thoughts are interrupted by the stranger, "business or pleasure?"

Not sure what the stranger meant, Sam looks up after having been caught running her eyes down this exotic woman's features, and sees a teasing smile staring back at her. Downing what's left of her strong drink, it gives Sam that extra bit of encouragement as it continues to burn her throat.

 _Why am I in this elevator with this woman, what am I doing?... But she's so beautiful_ , as Sam's thoughts are broken by the stranger lightly brushing her arm. Goosebumps form up as Sam shudders and tenses her shoulders briefly. _This is not me, or is it, I can't remember. Do I normally pick up strangers in a bar?_

As Sam swipes the key card, the door opens ajar, but the stranger doesn't move. _What is she waiting for?_ As Sam's breath hitches, nervous. The stranger steps forward half way, and Sam steps the other meeting in the middle as they kiss. As they do, Sam feels overwhelming emotion as the kiss turns surprisingly passionate. Savouring it Sam leans more into the kiss, and then confused, Sam pulls back again, and the stranger stops.

Dazed, Sam watches as the stranger smiles, a kind smile, and takes a step back to walk away, only Sam has found that she has already reached out and grabbed her wrist, stopping her from leaving. The stranger looks back at Sam in surprise as she leads her into her room.

Now inside the privacy of the room, standing in front of the bed, they continue their kiss. Deep, longing, intimate. As they part to catch their breathe, the stranger moves to sit on the edge of the bed, arm stretched out, beckoning Sam forward.

 _God, her arm is so lean, her body..._ Sam bites her lip again as her eyes involuntarily scan down the stranger's body, and back up to her face. _Her lips are so soft, she smells so good..._

Sam takes the unconscious step forward, and allows the stranger to gently tug her the rest of the way as Sam finds herself standing over the stranger and leaning down to continue kissing her. Leaning, leaning more as she is caught in the moment and they both go crashing down onto the mattress.

Laughing, the stranger looks up at Sam just as a flicker of light flashes across the room. Gazing at each other through the darkness of the room as the thunderous applause continues to rumble through the dark sky on the other side of the window. Sam feels the sparks fly as a different bolt of lightening strikes within her, making her heart flutter and her body shudder as the stranger has now reached out and is caressing her back under her light jumper, touching her bare skin.

The rumbling continues down Sam's back as the strangers hands continue to travel south down her back and into her pants, softly over her ass cheeks, caressing her before suddenly squeezing her ass so tight and simultaneously withdrawing from the kiss biting down on her lip. Sam jerks at the sudden roughness as the stranger lets go of her ass and lip before going back to caressing her ass and kissing her softly again. Sam doesn't know why, but the mixture of pain and pleasure starts to excite her more.

With hitched breaths, Sam shudders as the stranger continues to touch her in all the right places. Losing herself, Sam is pushed onto the mattress as she feels the stranger flip their positions. Straddling her, and waiting for Sam to reorientate herself, Sam is then pulled up gently into sitting position as one of her arms is guided round the stranger's back.

Smiling at Sam, Sam gazes back at those dark and mysterious eyes while also leaning in and reaching further round her back to start unzipping her dress as the stranger leans in to nip and sucks on her neck.

Overcome, Sam propels forward into the stranger in pleasure as she continues to straddle her, still sitting upright only because the stranger is holding her up, embracing her tightly. Having also let slip a loud and passionate moan into the stranger's ear, regaining herself, Sam is embarrassed. Either the stranger did not notice, or she did not care, as she feels her jumper being slipped up her torso and helped out of...

Not realising that she had picked up the key around her neck, and was now staring at it, for how long Sam doesn't know, she looks up to find the stranger laughing softly at her. Sam couldn't help but return the humour as she watches the stranger hook her hands under the chain and pull it slowly and gently off her neck, and then placing it delicately on the bedside table.

Attention focused back on the stranger, and desire kicking back in, Sam couldn't resist and leans down to kiss the stranger passionately. As she does so, the stranger pushes her down onto the bed. Sparks continue to fly as the storm rages on through the night.

The next morning Sam wakes up to an empty bed. In her confusion she wasn't sure if she was relieved that the stranger had left sometime during the night...

Chuckling, "the trip went better than planned" teases Grace, meeting Sam back in Naples airport. She had caught Sam unconsciously smiling into herself as she exited the security departure point.

Sam gives Grace a hug in greeting, and then a hum and shrug in reply to her question before shaking her head to cement her secrecy.

"Fine, it's a long drive back home, you'll crack" she teases further. "Come on" she chuckles further, grabbing Sam's case as they walk out and to the parking lot.

"Yes, she's arrived safely... Grace did mention she looks happy, caught her smiling to herself at the airport... Don't worry, we will" as Finch hangs up the phone.

 _\- 'I know that you are afraid cause I am so scared too,'_


	2. Chapter 2

Coming to, and squinting into a dimly lit room as the sunlight tries to peek through the window blinds, she looks down and spots a head by her side, stirring.

Shaw's eyes snap wider open as she wakes to see her eyes, "Root!" Shaw breaths in relief, reaching for her arm, caressing her face. Only Root jerks and pulls back, confused. Thinking Root just wanted the oxygen mask removed from her face, Shaw does exactly that.

"Root?" Shaw calls as she looks back at her blankly, blinks and then looks away again as if she was thinking.

"Root?" Shaw calls again, this time more gently, as she takes Root's hand into her own, only the hold isn't reciprocated.

"Who... Who are you?" Root stumbles with her continued blank expression.

With that Shaw's whole world comes crashing down as her heart breaks staring at the stranger now in front of her.

Out in the hallway, "she has temporary amnesia. As a Doctor yourself you know I can't tell you how long this will last. I'm sorry" as the Doctor looks down sympathetically at her.

Reese can only stand helpless by Shaw's side, nodding at the Doctor as he walks away. Reese moves to put a hand on Shaw's shoulder, wanting to speak but words fail him as he closes his mouth again. There _were_ no words for this. Together they stood in silence, no comfort to each other.

"Sameen", Root calls as she re-enters the room. Shaw's heart flutters, and the slither of hope is quashed by the time she arrives by the side of the bed, and Root has already looked away again, "that's what they said I should call you."

Sadness overwhelming both pairs of eyes.

Nodding, Shaw tries to smile, "it's OK, we'll work through this".

"Root?" But no reply as she continues to stand in a trance. Gen leads her away from the kitchen pulling her by the arm, and to safety. With crying in the background, Shaw comes running in and throws the fire blanket on the now burning pan.

With the fire now snuffed out, and the windows open clearing the air, Shaw wanders back into the living room to find Gen standing over a sitting Root, both motionless.

Spotting her, Gen runs to Shaw and embraces her tightly around the waist. Shaw replies by circling her own arm around Gen to return the comforting embrace. After a moment together, Gen releases Shaw to allow her to go to Root.

Kneeling down next to her, Root doesn't know how long Shaw had been sitting there beside her as she eventually snaps back out her trance. Root looks at Shaw apologetically as her emotions, once again, had overwhelmed her.

Seeing this, Shaw takes Root's hand, "it's ok."

"I nearly burnt down the apartment because I couldn't remember how to make pancakes!" As Root starts to hyperventilate, panicking in frustration. "Why can't I remember?!" As she starts to shake from the anger, from the frustration, back to anger as her hands writhe in her own lap. "Why can't I remember?!" As tears start to fall, continuing to work herself up, "why..." As she looks blankly at Shaw.

Shaw leaps forward, pulling Root into a tight embrace, helpless, unable to do anything else, her own heart silently crying too.

"I'm sorry" as Root continues to sob on Shaw's shoulder.

"Ssssssh" Shaw soothes, rubbing and rocking Root hoping that that would give her comfort. Holding Root still, long after her tears had ran dry.

"So Sam, what is it that you do?" Asks John.

"I'm an IT software consultant."

Chuckling, "computer stuff, right," John acknowledges as he returns his focus back onto the road.

Sam can't believe that she had agreed to car share with a complete stranger, but then she _is_ currently surrounded by strangers. With still missing memories, Sam figures one more won't make a difference, though what possessed her to car share with _this_ man, she still hadn't quite worked that one out yet.

 _'John_... _Riley'_ , he had introduced, handed stretched out, an agent looking for suit manufacturers in Italy. Sam chuckles as she looks over to John's once pristine suit. His black jacket now hanging out to dry on the hook above the door next to the passenger's seat, while his white shirt is still soaked through with sweat. The AC is turned up full blast as it courageously continues to blow out supposedly cooling air, but is failing miserably against the summer heatwave.

Whizzing past on the highway, they take a little detour along the coast, and are greeted by the swaying lush green grass and colourful flowers blooming along the stunning cliff tops. The ocean itself coloured by the varying clear shades of greens and blues. Sam looks out, taking in the beauty, only to suddenly find herself in longing again. _'What am I longing for?'_

"It's lucky I bumped into you back at the bus station," as Reese breaks Sam's frustrating thoughts. "Certainly makes this drive more bearable" he finishes, smiling.

Sam smiles at John in response. Lucky he was there as Sam _really_ didn't want to drive to this client on her own either. She needed to get to her client by tomorrow morning, something about an important meeting taking place, and the coach company was clearly not going to get their drivers off the picket line and back to work any time soon.

"So, how long will you be here for?"

"Oh", Sam finally breaks her silence, "I'm currently living here, well further north west coast."

"Ah... Well, after this last factory visit I'm heading home. I love it here, it's beautiful, but I miss that New York feel you know? The noise. The food. The loud vendors. The people. People here are..."

"Different" Sam offers.

"Can't argue with that."

For some reason Sam finds herself thinking about New York. _'The noise... The food...'_ Unconsciously Sam was now dragging a finger over her lower lip, _'the people'_. Sam isn't sure if her mind was playing tricks on her, but random noises murmur in the background of her thoughts, a blurry picture of some... Thing, also wanting to form, but it never materialises. Sensing familiarity, _'have I been to New York?'_ she ponders.

"Have you been there? I sense your accent is more from the South" John continues to enquire.

"No, I don't think so. Maybe as a child, I don't quite remember" as Sam continues to contemplate.

Laughing, "oh trust me, if you've been to New York, you would remember it" he grins.

Sam also joins in on the laughing, John was a gentle man.

They stop in a small village en route to stretch their legs. As they park the car and walk to the only main street, they come across a small market set up with local food stalls, which were a little busier than what a village normally would be, as many transactions continue to take place, adding to the atmosphere of the otherwise sleepy village.

The village was located in a valley lined with lush green leaved trees under a dark blue sky, interrupted only by the passing scattering of clouds floating along it. The wind was on vacation, leaving the mountains surrounding the village in peace as the river flowing through the centre of town continued to irrigate the rich lands as rushes down it's course.

A church sits by the corner of the main street, and next to it a small crowd had gathered. Curious as to what was taking place, Sam wanders over while John follows behind. They stand next to the crowd, which they now see, are standing on either side of the only road leading in and out of the village. Every one was facing and looking only in one direction, but as Sam looks down the road in that direction, it was silent, nothing was there. Looking at John, who just shrugged to confirm his confusion too, _Swish..._

The quiet was briefly interrupted, and then quiet again as Sam continues to takes in the soothing fresh air.

 _Swish..._ This time Sam spots him more clearly as a figure appears briefly in her sight, and just as quickly, disappears again. The cheering gets louder as the crowds get more excited at finally being rewarded for standing on the side of the road for so long.

 _Swish, swish..._ As the crowd heads follow the sounds before it fades again. _Whooosh_ as a large group of riders now appear together, cycling past the crowds, trying to chase the faster individual riders already ahead of them. John also joins in with the cheering as the peloton rushes past beside him at surprisingly high speeds.

As the cyclists pass, John looks to Sam, "that was fun", clearly impressed with the event. "Coffee?" As he starts to walk towards the coffee stall back at the market.

"Sam?" John asks as he looks at her, and then along her line of sight to see what it was she was staring at. "You, OK?" He asks confused as John's gaze returns from the stall at the end of Sam's line of sight.

The movement of John next to her snaps Sam out of her haze, "sorry. Thanks" as she takes the coffee cup being held out to her. "It's been a long day."

Nodding in agreement, "we're nearly there though" as they walk back to the car and away from the offending stall. A long queue of customers were waiting beside it, waiting as they watched the owner of the stall flip his crepes and then covering it in chocolate spread and whipped cream before serving them.

"Thanks for the company Sam, maybe bump into you in New York" as he waves her goodbye and drives off.

Standing in front of her clients office, a seeming sadness floats over Sam as she watches John drive away. Confused as to why she would feel this way about a complete stranger she just met, _'business to attend to Sam, focus'_ , Sam shakes away the illogical silly feeling and walks towards her client's office.

 _\- 'to love you, to lose you, if only I could just hold you close.'_


	3. Chapter 3

Panting... Short of breath, struggling to breath.. Short of breath... Struggling to breath... Struggling to brea...

As the world around her closes in, her mind spins out of control. The noise, the smells, the people, the light, the noise, darkness...

Root is lying unconscious in the middle of Central Park, barking, Bear is by her side nudging her furiously, trying to wake her up.

"She fainted in the park Shaw, this is serious! Had you not been following her..." And Reese is cut off by Shaw's glare.

"Maybe it would..." Finch hesitates, treading lightly as Shaw now directs her thundering stare at him. He swallows before pressing on, "... Help, if she went somewhere else for a while. It will be less, stressful, for her."

"Stress!" Shaw snaps abruptly, and more abrasively than intended. Shaw closes her eyes and tenses her shoulders before releasing them again with a long loud exhale, trying to calm herself.

Shuffling in the discomfort of the rising tension, Reese braves on, "she's struggling, Shaw. She doesn't remember us, and we're acting as if everything is normal."

Pausing, Shaw's expression finally softens, her shoulders unfolding. Reese was right. Finch was right. Her anger slowly starts to fade back to helplessness.

Reese's own demeanor also softening, "a change of environment might do her good, where we're not all pressuring her to remember" as he finishes, placing a hand on Shaw's shoulder.

"Grace and I ..." Finch hesitates as Shaw turns her gaze from the ground back to him, looking at him with tears that _just_ refuses to fall. Finch was not used to witnessing Shaw's vulnerability, it tugged on him more seeing her like this now. Taking a deep breath, Finch delicately proceeds, "we'll take good care of her" he tries to sound reassuring as he looks quickly away.

Root had become a daughter to Finch, and with that, Shaw eventually accepted him as family too. Reese becoming that sibling the three all never had.

"It will only be for a short while. Let's try it" Reese encourages further.

It was both comforting and unbearable how the dynamics of the group had changed over the years.

Shaw nods as they all turn to Root lying on the hospital bed, stirring. Root had not left Shaw's side for more than a day since... Taking and squeezing Root's hand, Shaw needed to find strength for the both of them.

Busy poking about with the cables and then checking the monitor displays, Sam turns at the sudden voice beside her, "what are you doing?" As a curly haired teen eyed her like she was an alien.

"Oh, just fixing the visual monitors", Sam replies as she continues to play with the different wires before tapping some commands into her laptop.

"Oregon trail"

"What, sorry?" A little flustered and confused, Sam stops tapping on her laptop and looks back up at the teen.

"Oregon trail" she repeats, "one of my all time fav classics. Have you played it?"

"I'm..." Before stopping and realising that the teen was talking about one of the computer games that were on display at the stall she was currently working by. Shaking her head before smiling, "no."

"Too bad, you should try it, it's good" as the curly haired teen turns back to one of the many monitors, playing on the sample console.

Sam watches on for a little while longer before going back to checking that the visual software for the convention centre was functioning properly. All the while hundreds of gamers and vendors continued to buzz around her madly for the entire day.

Stretching her neck, having been up since the very early hours of the morning, courtesy of an urgent disaster call from the client, _'uh, what a long day'_ , as Sam places a hand on the back of her neck as she continued to circle her head, stretching as she walks out of the main hall and into the lobby. Pausing briefly and exhaling a long heavy sigh, _'so thankful it's over'..._ Sam was relieved at the the thought that she would be heading back to New York tomorrow morning. These last two days in San Diego were hectic and tiring. Dropping her head back down and looking straight down the lobby, Sam spots a bar just off to the side in the short distance ahead of her, and smiles.

As Sam enters the open bar area she spots a surprisingly familiar face sitting in the corner sipping on her whisky, neat. Standing for a moment, not realising she was now just staring, the stranger also spots Sam, and beckons her over with a smile and a glance of her head. Looking to the ground a little bashful at having been caught staring, again, Sam shakes her head laughing a little to herself, and proceeds in sauntering over to the familiar stranger.

As Sam reaches the table, a little awkward, the stranger chuckles and stretches out her arm, offering Sam her whisky, "from the looks of it, I think you need this more than me."

Letting out a tired sigh, "it has been a _really_ long day" as she takes the glass and sits down next to the stranger, bumping into the stranger as she did so, having moved closer than Sam had anticipated herself to. Inhaling her scent, a gentle whisper, _'hmmm'_ as once again Sam catches herself gazing at the toned shoulder and arm muscles as she scans down and along the stranger's body.

Unknown to Sam, the stranger was smirking at her gaze of her, and looks towards the bar tender, catching his attention before lifting two fingers to indicate a further round of drinks.

Noticing the stranger turn her head back towards Sam, she breaks out of her gaze and takes a sip of the whisky, burning her as she swallows, before braving, "I didn't think I would see you again..."

Smiling, "so is this a good or a bad thing?" The stranger asks in reply as she locks eyes with Sam, almost like she was seeing right through her.

Sam feels a small shudder vibrate through her, the gaze making her feel a little self conscious. After a moment of silence, in a low gentle voice, "I was hoping I would."

Goosebumps shiver through her lower arm as Sam realises that the arm leaning on the table nursing her drink is now being lightly stroked. Looking up, Sam again catches those beautiful eyes looking straight back at her, this time with a smirk across her face.

Crashing into the room, kissing and grabbing at each other, Sam didn't know what possessed her as she pushes the stranger into the wall with such force it makes a loud thump. Sam instantly jerks back in shock, pulling away from the kiss. Only Sam doesn't go far as she is pulled back in by the stranger, and with the momentum, is lifted. Regaining her senses, Sam circles her arms and legs around the stranger as she's carried to the front of the bed, and is then thrown onto it.

Sitting up on her elbows, Sam watches as the toned exotic beauty slowly crawls onto the bed, climbing on top of her. As she reaches Sam, Sam curls her arms around her head and pulls her in, smacking their heads and lips together again to continue their increasing frenzy, kissing, biting, pulling, groping as both their hands and lips grab at each other's bodies, both fighting to gain control.

They finally tear apart to strip off their own clothes, which has now become an inconvenient hindrance. Having taken off her top, and now sitting up to shuck off her pair of pants, Sam stops as she catches the stranger now gazing at her. She was kneeling on the edge of the bed at Sam's feet, already in her underwear.

Scanning her body, Sam spots a long white cloth in her hand and reactively shifts her eyes slightly to the side, to the chair in the corner of the room where Sam had left the bathrobe this morning. Seeing the bathrobe still there, but divested of it's tie, Sam's eyes both lighten up and widen as she realises the intention, her gaze quickly snapping back to the stranger as Sam unconsciously licks and bites her lower lip. Her breathing increases and becomes louder as it grows heavier in anticipation.

Seeing that Sam had stopped, the stranger slides further up on the bed, now next to Sam's thighs, she reaches out and slowly helps to pull off Sam's pants before discarding it to the side, the pants flopping to the floor.

Sam's breath breaks unevenly as she shudders at the gentle and teasing touches, continuing to gaze straight back into those dark mysterious eyes, her heart now pounding furiously on her chest. The stranger slides even further up the bed, now kneeling next to Sam's hips, and leans in so close Sam could feel her breath on her face.

After what seemed like an eternity, the stranger finally closes the gap between them and kisses Sam softly, then passionately.

Finishing the kiss, and breaking slightly apart, Sam exhales a long nervous breath as she pushes her weight onto her hands and into the mattress, pushing herself further up the bed before lying down flat on her back. Sam stretches her arms up past her shoulders, and the stranger catches Sam's wrists in the air and helps aid them gently down over her head and onto the back of the pillows at the head of the bed. Sam continues to gaze at the stranger as she knots the tie around her wrists and onto the bed post. So vulnerable, _'why do I trust you so much?'_ Sam questions as she breathes out increasingly shorter shallow breaths in her increasing arousal.

Now restrained, the stranger returns her gaze to Sam before slowly moving away again. Sam watches as the exotic beauty straddles her, and kisses her stomach. Then her ribs. On the scar across her heart. Kissing her on the chest, and then returning to her lips. Satisfied, the stranger moves back down her body again. Kissing Sam on the lips, and then biting them gently. Pulling away she bites on Sam's neck, before finishing with a kiss over the freshly made mark. She kisses down Sam's chest, her ribs and her stomach while also digging in and dragging her nails down after the path of kisses. Tugging at the restraint, Sam arches her body, relishing in both the pain and pleasure sensations. _'Hmmm'..._ As Sam can't help but inhale the stranger's smell, taking in her body, indulging in her touch. Sam felt like she was being electrocuted as her body shivers and shudders with each caress. And with each caress, a guilty soft moan in pleasure, _'you feel so good...'_

Sitting up slightly and facing her, Sam watches as the stranger is lying asleep on her stomach by her side, in her hotel room, again. This time Sam can't resist in examining her a little bit more.

 _'Why do you have so many scars?'_ Sam wonders as she draws her hand lightly down the stranger's back and around the different marks, lingering and pausing a little longer on each scar before moving onto the next, almost like she was drawing. _'I don't know who has more, you or me. What kind of life must you have led?...'_ As Sam continues to draw, _'was it painful?'_

Sam is snapped from her thoughts as she feels the stranger stir gently from under her fingers. Catching Sam gazing at her, the stranger shifts onto her side to face her, before smiling and reaching for Sam.

 _'How are you so gentle and exiting...'_ as Sam smiles at the stranger's outstretched arm, which was beckoning her once again. Turning around, Sam pushes her back into the strangers embrace, _'so comforting, so warm' ,_ as the stranger wraps her arms around Sam, pulling her in. Once settled, Sam takes the stranger's arm and pulls it in towards her. Holding her hand, Sam falls quickly, and peacefully, asleep.

Waking up alone again the next morning, Sam's empty longing and lingering now had a face.

 _\- 'When you let me hold your hand, my heart just soars with pride.'_


	4. Chapter 4

"You seem to be settling in well?" As Finch looks around Sam's new apartment while Grace returns to them with mugs of tea, and placing it on the coffee table. "How are you feeling?"

Sam looks back at that familiar kind smile, she isn't sure why she feels so drawn to Harry and Grace, but their warmth calms her. _'There must be more to them than just being a family friend.'_

"I'm... " Sam hesitates before answering Finch, "I think I'm fine. I feel I'm fine. I'm happy, I think." As Sam chuckles to herself. "How do you take the word from a girl with memory loss?" As Sam sips at the tea, her brows crease slightly at the familiarity of it's taste, looking down into her mug.

Catching the slight expression, Grace turns to Finch as they share a hidden smile together before Finch continues, "that is a relief to hear, Sam." Finch's concerned expression also finally relents, "but please, humour me" as he hands Sam a business card. "Maybe she will help you to remember a bit more. If not, at least you will have someone to talk to while you're in New York. The city can be a big and lonely place to be."

"Remember, Harold and I will be here for another week before returning back to Italy, if you need anything..." Adds Grace, as she places a wooden box on the coffee table and slides it across to Sam...

Not realising that she had become engrossed by the box, by the time Sam looks back up, she sees two pairs of gentle eyes on her. A corner of Finch's mouth creeps up slightly, and he hides it by taking a sip of his tea. Returning her gaze back to the box, _'why is this so familiar, have I seen this before?'_

Looking across to Sam, Grace answers her confused expression, "you'll need it when you work things out," she encourages. Only this answer just makes Sam more curious as she reaches out and takes the box, examining it more closely. _'A puzzle box...'_

"Dr Campbell, I..."

As Iris looks up to the front door being opened and a tall brunette walks in, "you must be Samantha, if I may?" Now having straightened herself up from leaning over her assistant's shoulder to greet Sam with an outstretched hand.

"Please, it's Sam."

Shaking hands, "hi Sam, please call me Iris" and indicates for Sam to follow her into her office. "I wasn't sure you would come. Mr Finch had told me a little about you already" as Iris closes the door of her office. "Please," and indicates for Sam to take a seat at any of the spaces she feels comfortable.

Sam chooses to sit down on the sofa, while Iris sits adjacent to her.

"So, you're suffering from temporary amnesia" states the Doctor as Sam turns her head to her. Smiling, "I hope you don't mind, I had your medical file sent over, in case you did fulfil the appointment."

Sam nods in acknowledgement, confirming, "I'm wasn't sure I would come either. I don't remember much. I'm... Not sure what to say."

"That's normal. From your medical file, it indicates that you suffered a lapse, so naturally you wouldn't remember much. It's like the slate in your mind has been cleared. Do you remember you had that lapse?"

Shaking her head with a blank expression, Sam looks to Iris for guidance.

"Memories can be overwhelming, especially strong memories which invoke a lot of emotions. This is why those with amnesia can react badly. A small reaction is dizziness, headaches, light headed and or tunnel vision in the form of a migraine. In a strong reaction, you can experience what we call, a blackout, where the patient suffers a lapse and the mind essentially resets itself. This unfortunately can make you forget everything once again."

Nodding, "so I have already suffered a lapse after my initial memory loss?" As Sam's expression fades to sadness. "I thought I was recovering well", as that sadness turns to disappointment.

Seeing the drop in Sam's mood, Iris reassures, "you don't have to be disheartened, Sam." Pausing to allow Sam to digest before continuing, "it just means that your mind is fighting to remember, so it's just a matter of time." Pausing again, before encouraging further, "try not to give yourself too much pressure, it will come."

Sam slowly nods once again in acknowledgement, slowly digesting this new information.

Breaking the silence, Iris ventures onto a different topic to change the mood. "How long have you been in Italy?"

Sam stumbles, "I'm.. Not sure. I only know that I moved to New York three weeks ago." _'Did Harry move me to Italy after my lapse? How long have I been there? What did I leave behind?' …._

Silence as Iris waits, letting Sam take her time to process and think things through.

Finally continuing, Sam offers, "Italy is a beautiful country, but being there felt like.." As she pauses again, not sure how to identify her own feelings, like I was missing something... Does it mention on the file where I used to live, what I did? My family?"

"It tells me which hospital you were admitted to, and that Mr Finch came to visit after the hospital staff found his contact details on your phone. Perhaps you can tell me where you think home is. Why did you decide to move back to New York specifically, and not say, the West Coast?"

"I met this stranger, an American suit salesman, John."

Iris smiles at the mention of the salesman as she again, waits patiently, allowing Sam the time to speak when she is ready.

"He spoke about missing New York, the noise, the smell, the people... And I found myself agreeing with him. It felt like the things he mentioned were, familiar. I needed to find out, so I decided to return, and start in New York. Maybe I did know this city once."

Delicately, "and what have you found out so far?"

Taking a moment to continue to think things through. Tilting her head subconsciously, "I seem to know how to use the subway. That's a good sign of how well I know the city right?" As Sam looks at Iris questioningly.

Chuckling, "That does sound like a good indicator. Do you feel any other anxieties?"

Smiling as the mood of the room lightens, "apart from hustling for coffee this morning at the coffee stand, it's feels... Comfortable, here."

"That's good to hear, it does look like you are balancing things well. You haven't given yourself too much pressure, to remember. I suggest you continue to just let things come to you naturally. You wouldn't want to suffer another lapse from pushing yourself too hard," Iris reminds gently.

"Yes, I'll try", Sam confirms as she acknowledges the warning.

Glancing at the clock on her desk and then turning to Sam, "unfortunately that's our time now over, but I would like you to try a few more sessions," as Iris pauses to assess Sam's reaction to the idea. "Mr Finch has already paid for a block of sessions, so if you feel comfortable, shall we confirm your availability?"

Finch was right, it did feel better to talk to someone, anyone, to try make better sense of things.

Passing by a swing park on the way back to her apartment, Sam stops at the merry go round, not knowing why a dulling pain starts in her head. She focuses on her breathing trying to calm her breaths, sitting down on a park bench.

"Hey lady, are you ok?" As Sam turns to a curly haired teen tapping her on the shoulder. Recognising her instantly, "hey lady, it's you!"

Sam, still with the headache, looks at the girl, confused.

"San Diego, Oregon Trail?!" The teen informs, excitedly, beaming a wide grin at Sam. Seeing the wince on Sam's face as she looks away, the teen's smile quickly disappears again. "Are you ok?" As she asks again in concern, "you want me to call the EMS?"

Breathing heavily, "no, it's ok, I just... Need …. To Rest" as Sam pants out through heavy breaths. _'Calm Sam, calm... You don't want to suffer another lapse, breathe...'_ As Sam continues focusing on her breathing, in, out... In... Out... Shutting her eyes to try block out the pulsing headache, Sam did not notice that the teen had already disappeared.

Running to the person now standing next to the ice cream cart, the teen returns quickly, "here, this might help", as she drops the plastic bag onto the back of Sam's neck.

Sam shudders slightly from the sudden cold, as she places her hand on the bag of ice now sitting at the base of her neck. Sighing in relief, her breathing finally slows as her headache subsides a little over time.

The teen sits with Sam for a while longer as she recovers. Regaining back some of her faculties, Sam finally spots another pair of eyes staring at her, head tilted.

"Oh, that's Bear" the teen informs as she notices Sam staring at the dog.

Bear barks once upon hearing his name.

Surprised, "you called your dog, Bear?"

And Bear barks again, tongue now hanging out in excitement.

"Yeah" as the teen's grin returns, "cool isn't it?"

Sam chuckles lightly as the worst of the pain subsides.

"Lady, are you sure you don't need me to call someone?" She asks, looking at Sam once again in concern.

Smiling, "I'm ok, I don't live that far from here, I'll be fine."

Not convinced, "cool, I don't live too far from here either, let me and Bear walk you."

Sam opens her mouth to speak, but no words were uttered before she closes them again. It was a kind gesture, and Sam chuckles at the oddity of it before replying, "ok, I would love that, thanks."

"Ok!" As the teen jumps up from the bench, before realising "oh, are you ready now or did you want to sit some more?" As she sits back down again.

Laughing a little louder now, "yeah, I'm ready to go," and Sam slowly stands before walking towards home, accompanied by a curly haired teen and her dog, Bear.

 _\- 'When you seek me from the crowd, I know you're thinking of me.'_


	5. Chapter 5

" _You bxtch!" he screams as she is slapped hard across the face, so hard that she has been thrown across the yacht deck. "What did you do!?" As he now angrily lifts her from the floor by her collar and slam her against the cabin wall. The wall dents when he loosens his grip on her, and she crashes back to the floor in a daze. The man had already ran back to his laptop screen, a flashing box. Trying to back out of the cabin as the man frantically hits at the keyboard, she runs to the deck, but before she manages to find something to defend herself, the angry man is already there and pulls her hair, yanking her back into him and he punches her twice, hard in the stomach, and then across the face..._

 _Water, she is in the water, so cold, so cold, "he... Hel..." as she gulps in, involuntarily, the frosty water, "Sa..", it's so cold, drowning, panicking..._

Her scream cuts through the dark room as Sam finds herself panting, breathing hard... Panting slow breaths, _'it was just a dream',_ as she lies back down onto the bed.

"Tea?" As a mug is offered, jolting Sam from her haze.

Sitting up in her seat, Sam sees a short haired stocky guy.

"Looks like you might need this more", as he places the mug and tart puff pastry down on the table in front of her.

"Come on grouch, move it!" As his partner calls from a short distance.

Moving his jacket slightly to the side to reveal his police badge, and flicking his head at the uniformed officer in the distance, "duty calls, no point wasting it" as he winks and smiles at Sam, then walks away.

Bemused, Sam's not sure what to make of the gesture, but picks up the hot mug anyway and sips at the hot tea, _'hmmm'_ , as she takes a larger gulp. _'This tastes like the tea Grace made...'_ Noticing that it was getting late, lunch hour was well and truly over, Sam gets up and walks towards the subway, intending to catch it back. She had an appointment to get to.

Sam walks past a shop unit with a few arcades games sitting inside it, and looks into it through the open shutter door as she continues to walk by. Inside were two guys trying to out do each other on an arcade game before the shorter Japanese man suddenly turns to his friend shouting in celebrating, "see Danny, that's how it's done!" As he teases him, and collects his winnings.

Chuckling softly to herself, Sam walks on, quickening her pace.

Passing through Central Park she spots a familiar figure standing next to a park bench. As she reaches him, "what a small world" the Detective calls in surprise.

Stopping, "you do get around Detective!" Surprised that he even recognised her. "Thanks for the tea, it was very, delicious, actually. What was it?"

"Ah, I can't give away my secrets" he teases, "but glad you've perked up a bit now! Heading home now after a day's fun?"

Sam just smiles and nods at the Detective in reply.

"Well you have a good one" as the Detective continues eyeing his suspect.

"Sam?... Sam, are you ok?"

Sam focuses back to the room, where Iris is now peering at her with concern.

Closing her eyes momentarily, Sam opens them again, taking in a deep breath as she does so. "I've been having these nightmares. Well, the same one for the last two nights now. It felt so real, it's... Unsettling."

 _'Oh',_ as Iris nods in acknowledgement, waiting for Sam to continue in her own time.

Quickly changing the subject, "I went for a walk this morning, to try clear my mind, and found myself sitting in a café in China Town." Sam pauses again, and laughs lowly. "There was this Detective, he offered me some tea in the café, then I bumped into him again at Central Park on my way over here." Now looking back up at Iris in a lighter mood, "it's a small world", as Sam finishes looking away from Iris again.

Iris slowly gets up from her chair, and goes to sit next to Sam. Placing a hand on Sam's arm in encouragement, "it's OK. You're safe here. Tell me about the nightmare", as she moves her arm away again.

Sam closes her eyes, and then slowly opens them again as she hesitantly recalls the nightmare. "I'm on a yacht, I think. This man, he's so angry at me... And he's hitting me. I don't recognise him", and Sam starts shaking uncontrollably. "Do you think this is the reason I have amnesia, am I running away from him?!"

Squeezing Sam's shoulder to let her know that she is currently not in that nightmare, and reminding her that she is in a safe space in an office with her, Iris then releases the shoulder, and gets up to go pour some hot tea. Iris returns to sit by Sam again, and hands her the tea. "Here, this will help. Take your time".

The warmth does help as the mug heats up Sam's hands, stopping them from shaking. Inhaling the warm steam she begins again, "it felt so real, even now, it still feels so real"...

Gentle and reassuring, "it's OK, your safe here. No one will harm you. That nightmare is past, or it might not even be real. The mind has a strange way of processing things."

Silence follows as Iris continues to watch Sam. She had calmed, her body had stopped shaking, her breathing back to normal, "would you like to continue?"

Sam finally does respond by looking at Iris tiredly. Nodding,"let's call it a day" as Iris confirms the end of this session. "Can I call you a cab?" As Iris stands, and makes her way to her desk to retrieve her phone.

"No, I think I will walk", as Sam stands to leave.

Iris opens her mouth to try to stop her, but closes them again thinking the better of it. "If you need anything, please call me."

Sam nods acknowledging Iris' concern, and leaves.

Watching Sam make her way slowly out her clinic door, Iris picks up her phone and dials...

Sitting on the park bench again, resting, Sam is staring out onto the lake as families, dog walkers and suits finishing their day, come and go. Her thoughts are disrupted by a plastic cup blocking her view. Looking to her side, she sees the familiar stranger holding out a drink to her, Sam takes it with a comforting smile.

"Long day?" The stranger enquires with her eyebrows raised.

Smiling, _'why is everyone offering me tea today?'_ Sam takes the cup and remains quiet for a moment longer, before saying lowly, "not any more," before realising that she had just said that out loud. Sam's body goes rigid and stiff in response.

Chuckling, "it's nice to be missed" the stranger teases as she takes a gulp out of her own cup and leans back onto the bench.

Sam turns and starts gazing at the stranger once again, _'why is it you always seem to be there when I need you?'_ Continuing to check out the stranger, Sam notes that she is wearing blue scrubs underneath her black leather jacket. "I guess I don't need to ask about that any more," as Sam indicates towards the scrubs with her hand, "that or you like to play dress up", Sam finishes, teasingly.

The stranger looks down at her own scrubs and laughs. Responding with "caught," it also confirmed that yes, she is a medical doctor.

As they both look out ahead of them, to the child feeding the ducks, their mother beside him urging him on, Sam takes a sip of her drink, _'tea... That same tea...'_ as Sam cocks a brow up in surprise.

"So, you heading... Home?"

Distracted, Sam turns to look at the Doctor, and shares in her smirk.

 _'Why can't I resist you?'_ As Sam fumbles with her keys, breaking from their kiss at the apartment door. Finally opening the door, Sam grabs the Doctor and embraces her, kissing her madly and pushing her towards the couch, it was closer.

This time it was Sam's turn to bite down on the Doctor's neck and sliding her hands in under her scrub pants and squeezing her ass tightly as they both fall back on to the couch. Laughing, the Doctor feels Sam pushing her hands back up over her ass and under the front of her scrubs, pulling off the top, and then throwing it unceremoniously to the side. Sam then wastes no time in dragging her nails down the Doctor's chest and torso, eliciting an enticing mix between a grunt and a moan from her, in pleasure and pain.

 _\- 'When you turn and gaze at me, I know that you are there.'_


	6. Chapter 6

" _You bxtch!" he screams as she is slapped hard across the face, so hard that she has been thrown across the yacht deck. "What did you do!?"_

 _She continues to hear screaming as she falls into the water, so cold, shivering, frozen, it's so cold..._

" _... Hold on!" As a dark figure jumps into the water. Drowning, "he..." Throwing her arms in the air, swallowing so much water, "hel..."... Choking drowning, screaming... Sa..."_

Sam jolts from the bed throwing her torso from the warm soft mattress to sit upright, her mouth hanging open, quivering, still screaming internally... _'Sa?' C_ onfused and tired, she drops the tension in her shoulders and wraps her arms around her now drawn up knees. Quick short heavy breaths... _'Sa?' Who was I calling?... Who was I calling?!'... A swimmer, was there a swimmer?'_

Recovering a little, Sam lays back down on the bed and glances to the bedside table, 3.47am, and groans.

It was a long and frustrating busy meeting with management, having to readjust the programming every segment of the meeting as no one could quite decide on what it is they wanted. After ten hours of this unproductive dance on one of the hottest recorded days of the year so far, along with the reoccurring nightmare, it was taking it's toll.

As Sam pushes quickly through the lobby doors to exit the building, feeling like the day couldn't end soon enough, the sudden humid outside air hits her like heat from an incinerator, and she wobbles. Bringing her hand to her forehead and pressing down on her temples, rubbing them, Sam pauses for a moment to regain her strength. Beginning to walk, suddenly, everything goes black.

Jolting, and throwing her torso from the warm soft mattress to sit upright, Sam realises she's in her apartment bedroom, and closes her eyes and lies back down again. _'Wait!'_ As Sam's eyes fly back open, staring at the ceiling, then jolting back upright again, _'I was at work...'_ as she looks around the room, slowly. _'This_ is _my apartment. Vanity, chair, drawer, bed...'_ Just then Sam notices a drifting smell of food wafting into the room. Pausing again for a moment, Sam throws the blanket off and gets out of bed.

Peeking her head slightly out of the doorway and towards the kitchen, having grabbed the baseball bat by her bed along the way, she hears a pan hit the sink, followed by a sizzling sound before a cupboard drawer is creaked open, then closed shut again. Further sounds of clattering dishes and utensils, and the oven door closing with a small thud. Now standing looking at the back of a small body in an even smaller kitchen, Sam looks down onto the breakfast bar in sweet amusement, and smiles to herself.

Turning around to pour the stew into the bowl on the breakfast bar, the Doctor stops, looks up, and smiles sweetly back at Sam, before continuing to pour the stew. Sam's heart flutters. Next to it was a spoon and a piece of flat bread neatly plated.

Quickly putting the pot down onto the cooling rack by the stove and turning back around to face Sam, The Doctor leans on the breakfast bar, beckoning Sam to sit down.

Sam saunters slowly over to the high stool, her lips slightly parted, her heart pulsating, her breathing shallow, forgetting to even ask how on earth the Doctor was standing in her apartment, as Sam's emotions over ride her every lucid faculty.

All the while the pair continue to lock eyes, gazing, staring, adoring.

Finally sliding onto the stool, Sam closes her lips, and swallows as she briefly stops breathing.

The Doctor shifts her eyes, pointing them down to the food, before shifting them back to Sam.

Sam does not move, her breath shallow... _Thud... Thud... Thud.._ Slightly curling, and then uncurling, curling and then uncurling her fingers, Sam tries to slow her betraying heart as her lips draw apart again. _Thud, thud, thud..._ Her body shudders, snapping from her daze, watching as the Doctor walks slowly around the breakfast bar, one hand dragging across the surface of the breakfast table. Goosebumps form, and another shudder thunders through her as the Doctor stands so close, their legs brush each other. Sam's breath hitches, and stops breathing again as the Doctor leans down into Root's head space, head nearly touching head, feeling her breath on their face. _Thud thud thud thud thud..._ Sam swallows again through the gaze, and pants trying to gulp in air as she realises she's no longer breathing, watching as the Doctor's lips part, leaning in, teasing...

"Eat", she says softly into Sam's ear, and moves away again from Sam's head.

Sam drops her head in disappointment and amusement, and chuckles to herself as the Doctor turns slightly to break a piece of bread. Moving the bowl into a more accessible position, she then dips the bread into the stew, and stretches her arm out to feed her.

Reconnecting the gaze, Sam complies, "yes, Doctor, anything you say" as she slowly parts her lips, and takes a bite. Sam's forehead creases as the senses on her tongue register the spices, making her mouth water more, and for a different reason. _'Hmmm'_ , as she looks away from the bowl of stew on the breakfast bar and back to the Doctor, who greets her with a wider smile, almost like she was laughing at her.

Seeing what a good patient Sam is, the Doctor reaches back again to break off more bread, scoops more stew onto the bread, and offers it to Sam. As Sam takes a bite, the Doctor brushes her cheek with her fingers before pulling away again. Chewing, Sam is further distracted by the circling free hand massaging her shoulder, and she swallows down, hard, before reaching out and circling her own arms around the Doctors legs, caressing her thighs. Food was no longer the substance Sam wanted to eat as other urges start to over whelm her.

The Doctor glances down at Sam, and smiles in amusement.

With more force, Sam curls her arms tighter around the Doctor's legs, and pulls her in closer, the Doctor falling on her lap, sitting on her as they kiss and nip, tugging at each other's lips and messing up each other's hair in complete frenzy.

Not able to withstand it anymore, Sam stands, throwing the Doctor promptly off too. Still continuing to kiss and tug and pull, neither of them relent. Sam pushes the Doctor backwards in her embrace, almost like they were blindly slow dancing, back towards the bedroom.

As they reach the end of the bed, Sam finally breaks contact and pushes the Doctor, heavy handily, onto the bed before opening and grabbing something from the vanity drawer.

As Sam is momentarily distracted with the drawer, the Doctor, now sitting up on the bed, spots the silver chain with the key on the bedside table. The wooden puzzle box was sitting next to it. Her thoughts are interrupted as Sam returns, shaking the bed as she crawls on top of her, straddling her, and then leaning down smacking their lips together to continue the fervour.

Unzipping the black hoodie, Sam slides her hands up onto the top of the Doctor's shoulders, before venturing down her arms, helping the Doctor to remove it. Seeing the black tank top and toned bare shoulders, Sam's mouth waters as she quickly swallows, licks her lips and dives onto one of them, biting, hard onto it.

As the Doctor laughs, indulging in the pain, Sam breaks away and places both her hands on her pants waistband. Sitting up from her straddle, and moving down slightly, hovering above the Doctor's thighs, Sam tugs down with so much force, she slides the Doctor down and onto her back. Continuing to hover, Sam slowly unbuttons the pants, one button. At. A.. Time... While gazing at her, teasing the Doctor, before removing the pants.

The Doctor reaches out for Sam as she crawls back up to straddle her waist. Grabbing both outstretched arms, Sam pushes the Doctor's arms behind her head, down onto the bed before hearing, z _iiiiiip..._

As the Doctor realises that Sam has just zip tied her wrists, she smirks. Lying still and relinquishing control, Sam now had _all_ night, to have her way with her.

A phone buzzes, stirring slightly, it wasn't enough to fully awaken Sam as she quickly stills back into her sleep.

" _You bxtch!" he screams as she is slapped hard across the face, so hard that she has been thrown across the yacht deck. "What did you do!?" As the angry man turns towards his laptop screen. A box flashes within the window of the display screen indicating that his bank balance was at zero..._

 _Detective: "it has to be... He spotted her at the park.."_

 _John looks to her, then to the small figure in front of him._

 _The back of a small figure: "No! There's a reason why we left"_

 _She continues to hear shouting as she falls in the water, so cold, shivering, frozen, it's so cold..._

 _A muffled calling, was she calling her? A loud splash, or is it her own splashing, as she struggles to keep afloat, gulping in vats of frosty cold water, chocking her, drowning her, struggling to shout for help... Struggling to breathe... Struggling to reach out for the swimmer..._

" _Woof, woof... Woof, woof", as she pats Bear. The curly haired teen near by, her beaming grin..._

 _Another angry man, pointing a gun to her head. The harbour... A shot is fired.._ _The_ s _ilence of the crashing waves._

Sam awakens into the dark room, heart racing, panting, heavy breaths. Reaching across the other side of the bed, it was cold, and empty... _'Did I just dream about the Doctor, saving me?'_ Sam creases her brows in confusion, did she just dream about the Doctor because she wants to see her again, or was she there? _'How can she have been there?!_ ….. _Was I shot? John, Detective?...'_ Scared and confused, silent tears start to trickle down her face as Sam curls up into a ball, hugging herself as she slowly, very slowly, falls back to sleep.

 _\- 'When you share your food with me, it let's me know you care.'_


	7. Chapter 7

"This can't just be a dream, can it? I keep having the same one, each time it gets more vivid" as Sam panics, questioning both Iris and herself. "When I was... Drowning, I saw a dark figure, I think he, no she, I think, I don't know... Was swimming towards me, I couldn't see, I..." Panicking as Sam's words come to an abrupt stop. Then slowly recalling, "I saw the suit salesman. The Detective, Bear, the little girl... That was real, that's not a dream. So these must be memories?" As Sam looks at Iris with desperation, frustration, confusion, looking for some, any kind, of reassurance.

Iris notes the continued panic and frustration. Then a slight grimace, before offering, "memories can be confusing and distorted, especially over time. And dreams are often just a series of random thoughts, they don't necessarily mean anything," as Iris has now moved to the side table to pour a glass of water, "here" as she hands the water to Sam. "I know right now it's probably not comforting to hear as you're still trying to make sense of things. But this is a sign that your mind is starting to remember again, even though the information is distorted. I need you to try to keep calm and not give yourself so much pressure to remember. Don't force it. These images you have in your dreams, they're not necessarily as they appear. It could just be a series of random thoughts played through your mind together as it tries to process all the memories stored there. The mind is a very complex tool, it needs a lot of time to recover."

Sam looks more calmly, at Iris, "what can I do to try help remember more?"

"Unfortunately we are scientifically, not at the stage of determining a successfully proven way to recovering memory loss. However the mind is better able to process information when it is in a relaxed and happy state, which is why when we get a good night's sleep, the brain is at it's most efficient in storing memories and retrieving information. Have you been doing something different lately that has perhaps, made you happier? A routine which has allowed you to sleep more soundly?"

With that Sam couldn't help but blush and look down to the carpeted floor of the office, smiling to herself.

Seeing this, Iris smiles too, "whatever it is, it is obviously making you happy, so I would suggest you keep doing it." Iris catches the gleaming eye of Sam as she looks up at her and nods. "Now I know this may seem like a strange suggestion, but try to keep an open mind. If it feels right, just go with it and see where it takes you. You will never know what will trigger a recall of a memory."

Feeling more comforted, and with more hope, Sam leaves Iris' office with a little less stress. Just as she looks up, Sam spots that teen come out of a store in the short distance, and with... Bear! _'What a small world'_ as she continues to walk forward, watching as the teen merrily skips on head of her, getting further away. As Sam passes the store that the teen had just bound out of, she pauses, peering into it for a moment, before continuing to walk again. _'Ice cream store...'_

To try help her memory recall, still not quite sure if she had lived in New York before or not, Sam had been walking down different areas, and taking detours around the city. Continuing, to walk, Sam decided to walk in the direction that the teen took before heading back to her apartment.

Having now lost sight of the teen and Bear, Sam turns a random corner down another street, and her heart skips a beat as she slows her feet. Now more alert and having a good look around, she comes one particular apartment building, and stops to look up at it. _"... Try to keep an open mind. If it feel right, just go with it"_ as Iris' words drift back into her mind. Balling her hands in a fist tightly and letting go again, Sam wanders up the short steps and tries the door. It creaks open and she walks in. Not knowing which floor or where to go, she turns to take the stairs. _'How did I know where the stairs were'_ , as Sam turns the corner like it was familiar, before shrugging the feeling away again. _'All apartments must have the same layout'_ she concludes logically, brushing her hand up the banister as she takes each step slowly.

Sam stops on the top floor, and walks past the handful of apartments situated on that level. Stopping at the end of the hallway, she stands, pausing, laughing at the absurdity of being there, _'Sam, this is crazy, what are you doing?'_ She promptly turns to make her way back down the hall to exit.

"Woof!..."

Sam stops outside the door after hearing the bark inside the apartment. Shaking her head again, Sam takes a step to leave just as the front door opens. Eyes widen as she sees the Doctor in her casual clothes, a bag of rubbish in her hand.

Sam watches as the Doctor opens, then closes her mouth again in confusion. There's an awkward silence between them before its broken. "Come here often?" She teases.

With horror written all over her face, Sam stops shuffling and tries to make herself small.

Laughing, "I'm just teasing" as she tries to peek around Sam's head to coax her out of her shell as Sam's head as now tucked into her chest. "Come on in, you look like you need a drink" as the Doctor opens the door further to invite her in. Only Sam hesitates, looking between the Doctor and inside the apartment, lingering at the door. "Come on, it's not as if you haven't seen everything already."

Sam blushes, and steps into the apartment.

Nursing her mug of tea in the living room, _'that same tea again'..._

"Ah, so you have amnesia. That must be hard, remembering, not remembering" the Doctor offers in understanding. "So you think you might have... Lived, around here?"

Smiling softly in sadness, "I was questioning that myself, and was about to leave your building when I thought I heard a dog bark."

Looking questioningly at Sam, "a dog's bark? Why would that make you stop?"

"Because of Bear"

"You met a Bear? Do Bears bark?" As the Doctor becomes even more confused.

Shaking her head and laughing at herself, "sorry, I'm not making sense."

Laughing in amusement, "it's ok. It must be confusing trying to work out what are lost memories, dreams and reality. Maybe you start romanticising about things which you want to be real. Maybe things are real but you don't realise it".

Sam's expression softens, and looks at the Doctor, her words having described and touched everything that she was currently feeling, and experiencing...

The Doctor pokes her head towards Sam, "you... Ok?" As the movement breaks Sam from her zone out.

With the Doctor's words, Sam recalls her dream, and waking up alone, "you left!" Sam answers, her tone coming out more bitter than she realised. As soon as the words did leave her, Sam scrunches her face and closes her eyes in horror, again. What right did she have to be annoyed, they weren't in a relationship after all.

With her eyes still closed, wishing she could take back those words, no, wishing she could take back having walked into this apartment building, a gentle hand cups her face as her head is pushed lightly upwards, and a kiss. Tender, so soft.

With the giver pulling away again, Sam opens her eyes to the Doctor's heavy ones... _'Is she saying sorry?'_ As the Doctor continues to gaze and stand over Sam, hand still cupping her face...

"Don't move," the Doctor whispers, as she finally breaks the silence, and makes her way quickly out the room.

As Sam waits, she looks around the room, the first time that she is actually taking in the room. _'This place is huge... She must be a successful Doctor...'_

Sam's thoughts are broken as she hears a soft cry, which quickly dies back down again. Moments later, staring at the Doctor and the parcel in her arms, "here, this will help," as she drops the baby into Sam's arms.

 _'Oh!'_ as Sam's eyes widen, barely registering what was happening before subconsciously moving her arms in a natural cradling position, not realising that she knew what she was doing. The warmth, the innocent face, the love, now touching her as the babe's tiny finger is now pushed against Sam's nose. The baby wriggles a little in Sam's arms, and he drops his finger from her nose before curling and uncurling, curling and uncurling his fingers, almost like he was trying to reach out to her.

Suddenly occurring to her, Sam's eyes widen again as she looks up, and gazes at the Doctor, _'Is this why you left me that night?'..._ And then, quickly turning to anxiousness, "should I be here? I mean, your partner..." As Sam continues to look at the Doctor in anticipation, partially fearing the answer.

Having sat back on the couch, the Doctor gazes straight back at Sam, "She... Left."

Sam's mouth twitches upwards a little upon hearing this, fighting not to smile. The gaze from the Doctor now burning through her, Sam avoids it by returning her attention back to the babe in her arms, watching as he scrunches his face. He was stretching and kicking out with his arms and legs, mouth stretching open, almost like he was fighting to both sleep and wake up, not sure of what he wanted. After a few more gurgling and whining noises, he falls back to sleep, dropping his head into Sam's chest. So peaceful.

The Doctor watches the two, a smile that doesn't reach her eyes.

Finally breaking the silence, "I didn't know you had a son", as Sam continues to look at the child.

"Yeah", the Doctor answers proudly, "he's hard work, but..."

Sam looks up and lock eyes with the Doctor, "he's worth it" as Sam finishes the sentence for her.

Reluctantly, Sam leaves the Doctor's apartment. _'She was right, the baby did help...'_ Before realising, _'I still don't know her name...'_ Despite this, Sam finds herself smiling, involuntarily, for the rest of the journey back to her own apartment. Sam had yet to realise, but for the first time in a long time, her longing and lingering had now disappeared.

 _\- 'If I could choose to fall in love again, please be always by my side,'_


	8. Chapter 8

" _... Hold on!" A loud splash, or is it her own splashing as she struggles to keep afloat, gulping in vats of water, chocking her, drowning her... As the Doctor swims towards her, reaching out for her..._

" _This isn't a good idea!" As the Doctor talks to John._

'John Riley, the suit salesman'.

" _He has a thing for tall brunettes, plus he spotted Root at the park, it's a shoe in" as Detective Fusco comes into view._

'The Detective's name is Fusco?...' And Sam is now shifting restlessly in her bed, her mind fighting between conscious and subconscious as her dreams become more vivid, and clear.

 _John looks to her, then to the small figure in front of him._

 _The Doctor: "No! There's a reason why we left, we're not doing numbers anymore, Reese!"_

 _Sam: "It's ok, it's just a quick in and out right?" As she places a hand on the shoulder of the Doctor and looks towards Fusco and John._

 _Watching the curly haired teen pulling the Doctor into the ice cream shop, and push her onto a seat at the table... Leaning back, the Doctor continues to hold her hand under the table, while..._

'I'm drawing circles round the back of the her hand?...

 _Bear is sitting on his dog bed chewing his large dog bone in the Subway while..._

'Reese.. No Riley, what are you saying to Fusco and the Doctor?'

" _Woof, woof"... "Woof, woof" as Sam pats Bear, Gen sitting near by with her beaming grin._

 _'_ Gen... Gen?! That's her name?'

'Harry?'As Sam is now shifting restlessly, the bed shaking a little.

 _The Doctor is cradling the baby in her arms as she walks through the subway, Sam moving away from Bear and walks to the Doctor's side, an arm now curled around her shoulder, smiling at her adoringly before looking to the baby. Walking over to Finch, who is by the computer, together._

" _Root!... Hold on!" As she hears Shaw's call before a splash. Shaw swimming furiously, cutting through the currents with ease, thundering towards her._

 _"He..." As Root takes in vats of frosty cold water, her body starting to seize from the shock of the cold temperature of the water, "Sameen!" As Root's head sinks under the water again, panicking, bobbling, body seizing. Root feels a tug, and then blacks out._

 _Restrained and held back by Eric, their latest number, Root feels his glock hit the side of her head, as the pain from her temple shoots up into her brain, numbing the right side of her face. Gazing at Shaw through the scope of her rifle, Root let's her body drop as she hears the sound of a shot drowned out by the sound of a container ship horn; a freighter was drawing into the port behind them._

 _As both bodies hit the ground, Root sees Shaw drop her still smoking rifle and run towards her..._

'Sameen...' As Root's arm is stretched out, up and horizontal to the bed, reaching for the Shaw currently in her dreams.

 _Quickly picking her up and cutting the restraint from her wrists, Shaw holds Root tight, so tight it hurts. Whispering into Root's good ear, "I can't lose you," as the silence of the crashing waves fill the air_.

Shaw reaches Root just in time as she faints from the shock, triggered by the freezing cold temperature of the water. Holding her head above the water, Shaw drags Root back to the bank and pulls her up onto the pier. Seeing them, Fusco helps pull Root out of the water, before carrying her to the car as he turns on the engine and the heat.

Shaw joins them seconds after, drenched, and after grabbing blankets, foil blankets, heat pads and her spare jacket from the trunk. Running to the passenger seat in the back, where Fusco has placed Root, Shaw pushes Fusco aside as she quickly strips Root of her cold and wet clothes.

As Fusco turns away to give Root some privacy, he sees Reese hauling the latest jackass angry number from the Coastguard's boat, still ranting and raving. Flashing his badge also to indicate that he was with Detective Riley, Fusco takes over as the number is pulled off onto the pier while Reese jumps off the boat, "thanks for the help guys" as Reese nods to the Coastguards appreciatively.

As the Coastguard's boat pulls away, Fusco punches the number twice in the torso. Watching, Reese looks at Fusco in surprise. "Coco puffs has quite a few bruisers, one on the jaw, one on the cheek. God knows what's on her body, and now she's unconscious!"

Upon hearing this, without thinking twice, Reese punches the number on the jaw, then on the cheek with such force it cuts the number's lip, and nearly knocks him unconscious, before continuing to drag the number towards the oncoming marked NYC squad car.

Having finished stripping Root, and then wrapping her with the blankets, jacket and inserting the heat pads inside the jacket, Shaw clips the seat belt into Root before jumping into the driver's side, and drives to Carter-Turing Memorial hospital.

Reese and Fusco follow Shaw to the hospital soon after despatching the number to the officers in the squad car.

 _Spotting the name_ 'Doctor Turing' _plastered onto of an open locker in the resident's break room at Carter-Turing Memorial, Root stops, and peers inside... The puzzle box... Pulling her set of apartment keys from her leather jacket pocket, Root pulls off the thin metal key off the key chain, and inserts it into the box..._

Now sitting up on the side of the bed, her heart racing, Root looks at the leather jacket handing on the door of her wardrobe, the Doctor, no... The same leather jacket Shaw had left behind when she returned to Root's apartment that day in her scrubs. Blinking, thinking, trying to calm her heart rate, Root then grabs the silver chain and the puzzle box from the bedside table... _Click_... As Root opens the puzzle box. Quickly throwing herself off the bed, Root empties the contents of the box into her hand and throws the chain and puzzle box back onto the bed. Grabbing the leather jacket as she moves past it, and any change of clothes near her, she runs out the door, hopping, changing, frantic.

Thumping at the apartment door impatiently, making substantially more noise than the neighbours would ever appreciate at that time in the early hours of the morning, the instant the door was opened, Root flings her arms, wrapping them quickly around her neck, squeezing tight, so tight...

"Sameen", Root whispers in her ear, as tears of joy fall down her face.

Root could not see it, but Shaw's eyes filled with overwhelming happiness as she returns the tight embrace.

As Root pulls back to look at Shaw, she spots lingering in the archway, Gen standing there with Bear. Smiling, "come here" and Gen runs into Root's arms, Bear bounding beside her and nudging Root with his head as he wags his tail and barks repeatedly beside her.

"Root!" Gen calls longingly, as Bear continues to dance around them, tongue handing out, panting in excitement...

Long after Gen and Bear had gone back to bed, Root was still holding Shaw. Finally able to tear herself away from Shaw, Root pulls out the wedding rings from her leather jacket pocket. Taking the one with the etchings inside the band, Root takes Shaw's hand and slowly pushes the ring onto Shaw's finger. Finishing, Shaw takes the other, and looks straight into Root's eyes, the ring hovering over her finger.

"Sameen, I do, always!" Root confirms, again.

Shaw quickly pushes the ring back onto Root's finger before pulling her in for another kiss.

Still gazing at each other, Shaw leads Root to the bedroom, and stands in the doorway as she watches Root slowly making her way into the room, and to the cot. Leaning over, Root places her hand delicately over the peacefully sleeping babe.

"My beautiful boy" she calls softly to him.

Smiling, Shaw walks over to her. "Root," as Shaw calls her name softly for the first time, again.

Just as softly, Root turns to face Shaw, and reaches out, taking her hand into her own, intertwining their fingers, and slowing pulling Shaw further into her. Now nose touching nose, Root whispers, "Sameen, don't ever let me go."

"Never!" As Shaw seals the promise with a searing kiss, before falling backwards together onto their bed.

 _\- 'and if I should forget you, don't ever let me go.'_


	9. Chapter 9

If I should forget you

 _'I know that you are afraid cause I am so scared too,_

 _to love you, to lose you, if only I could just hold you close._

 _When you let me hold your hand, my heart just soars with pride._

 _When you seek me from the crowd, I know you're thinking of me._

 _When you turn and gaze at me, I know that you are there._

 _And when you share your food with me, it let's me know you care._

 _If I could choose to fall in love again, please be always by my side,_

 _and if I should forget you, don't ever let me go.'_


End file.
